Napoleon Hill once said, “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit. If you think about it, every obstacle or problem you face in life, something valuable can be gained from it.
I remember when me and my girlfriend broke up, I thought that my life was over. As silly as it sounds, during that time I really couldn’t function the same way as I did before when I met her. I went through months of hammering myself. Many of the times, I found myself saying things such as, “What did I do wrong? I was so stupid! I’m never going to talk to her again.”
The things I loved doing most became dull and uninteresting. College became uninteresting. Driving became uninteresting. Watching movies by myself became painful to do. I couldn’t even concentrate on the simplest problems of my homework. Living a normal life suddenly became hard.
One day, you come to a point where you walk into the bathroom and look yourself in the mirror and you’re in so much pain that you can’t even recognize yourself, but instead, see someone beneath the skin on the surface. At that point, you can’t help but randomly smile and let a small laugh come out somewhere beneath. Within a moment of realization, you say to yourself, “What the hell have I been doing? Enough is enough. I need to move on.”
People say that hindsight is a perfect vision. I agree with that. Everybody has choices and decisions in life, and without the decision to move on, I would have never been able to see other opportunities out there. I have a girlfriend now and I am her first boyfriend, and the way she treats me is sort of the way I treated my ex girlfriend – very emotionally. I understand how that feels now. And it sort of all comes together or comes “full circle,” because sometimes I’m the one that feels like I need some space and now I know why my ex girlfriend felt the way she did sometimes.
We face adversity everyday. You break up with someone and it hurts. But it’s not the end of the world. If anything it just makes you tougher and stronger inside, and to not depend so much on the other person in order to live a normal life. Love doesn’t necessarily have to come from receiving attention from your boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband, it can come from giving and receiving a thank you from a stranger.
When business goes bad, it hurts. There are people who are so stuck to their jobs and blame the economy for their financial situation. And instead of seeing another way out of it, they stick to their same business ways, waiting for something to happen, and losing their money everyday. When business is going bad, it’s a lesson right in front of your eyes that change is needed. And when business goes bad and change is implemented to see a solution to make business better, whether this means doing more for customers or changing careers, that itself is a benefit to business going good.
When a person you know well passes away, it hurts. But it makes you appreciate the value of living. The personality they had on other people may be a reflection of how you want to treat others as well. Their contribution to the world may be something that strikes you in a powerful way. What did they contribute to the world when they were living, and what can you do now to give value to the world while you’re still here on earth? Will you be proud of your accomplishments and what you have done here when it is your time? These adversities we face just make us think a little bit more.
Most of the times, the worse adversities are the ones that we cannot control. This is such as the ones that are in the future. For example, with all the foreclosures that are going on, you may be a person who has to pay off a mortgage bill by a certain, upcoming deadline. There are people who just borrow more money, and put themselves into more drowning debt. Running away from adversity is not what you want to do. Facing adversity such as finding ways to make a dollar is better than spending a hundred dollars and not doing anything to make a dollar because make a dollar is the first step it will take to making more dollars – the direction that you want to go in order to get out of debt.
This was just an example, but as you can see, most obstacles and problems that we have in life are negative. However, you have a choice! Most people will view a negative situation in a negative way. That is being “realistic”. But when we become “realistic” that is when we have accepted the fate our of future from something outside of our control. But people don’t have to view the negative situation as negative, because it’s the people who want to succeed in life that choose to view a negative situation, such as adversity, as a positive way to benefit them in the future.
In the long run, we should think how we feel. Of course, there are going to be adversities that make us feel down. But if we can train ourselves to view adversity in a positive way, then we will feel good about ourselves. Which one do you want to feel between the hours of when you wake up in morning and when you go to sleep at night? For me, I would choose the latter. So next time, instead of seeing your adversity as a big rocky boulder that is blocking your path, see it as a small stepping stone that is actually helping you get back onto the path of your destination.
photo image: JasonRogersFotographie
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Tristan,
I’m a big believer in the power of adversity to help us redefine ourselves, our lives, and grow. The thing is to not let the negative emotions take over and push us into abandoning and retreating in our shell, but rather think and act outside the box. So it comes down to a lot of emotional mastery from my perspective, in order to facilitate finding productive solutions.
Eduard
Hi Eduard, you’re right in that we shouldn’t let our negative emotions take over. We shouldn’t retreat, but rather find a solution to challenge the adversity in front of us. Thanks for this.
We could all learn many lessons from the great Napolean Hill.
I personally thrive on adversity. Life would be pretty boring otherwise.
Heh, that’s a great way to put it Gabe. Thanks for your comment.
Very great article, you spoke the words within my heart. That was same realization i faced when i too had broke up with my girlfriend. I can understand how painful it is. But if we don’t control our emotions then it really makes a person weak. And if we fall prey to such emotions then surly it gonna kill us or make us mad, so instead, we should overcome it by making positive attitude such as ” no time for this / i will find even better /” and simultaneously make our-self engaged in other activities or move on to other girls, in this way we can forget the old story. But one should always learn from their past mistakes or else he will fall prey to such incidence every time.
Hey Chris, nicely said. If we don’t control our emotions, then we fall prey to them, making us weak. It’s nice to have someone to share these experiences and know how it is. Thank you.