Have you ever dealt with someone who was overdramatic? This can be a family member, a friend, an acquaintance, or even a stranger. They may say things that often times are exaggerated or act in ways to get attention, which can often cause lots of frustration when dealing with them. I’m sure everybody has gone through these types of situations before.

For example, I had a roommate who was a very in-your-face type of person, meaning he talked to you in a very loud way where the topic matter wasn’t emotional at all. I had an aunt that always needed to be right. She enjoyed turning small, trivial matters into a drama fest that drew the attention of the entire family, which would result in loud arguments.

I also had an ex-girlfriend who would talk to me endlessly about her problems of her chaotic relationship with her college boyfriend – a super senior, gambler, and a drug dealer. Now, if there’s one type of people that get on my nerves, it’s people that turn small issues into big drama.

Now, if there’s one type of people that get on my nerves, it’s people that turn small issues into big drama. I’m not saying these people were bad; they were good people. But sometimes good people can still frustrate you. And I realized that if I couldn’t deal with 3 people, how could I possibly deal with hundreds of other people that would appear later on in my life? If you’re a person who finds themselves leaning more towards the rational, calm side of being, here are a 5 ways that I’ve learned over the past to help you deal with dramatic people.

Don’t Judge People Right Off the Bat

The reason I say this is because is you never know where people come from or what their background is. Both of these things don’t pop in your head during a heated moment. A person’s past and their environment will often shape up their beliefs and who they are when you dealing with them in the moment. Once a person has a firm belief about what is the right way to act and speak, it’s very difficult to change them, especially in one setting.

For example, my roommate had come from Shanghai, and from what I’ve heard from my teacher and from other people in Taiwan, is that people from Shanghai normally talk loud and are very fast paced. The pushy-shovy, get-things-done mentality, is normal in the type of environment that is very busy and metropolitan. My aunt was divorced about a decade ago and had to raise a child by herself. I can see why see has a masculine personality because she has to take the role of a mother and a father at the same time. My ex girlfriend was a person who needed to talk and needed a person next to her side to talk to her about her problems all the time (This is why we broke up back then ).

Don’t Feed the Ego

Second, is to never give into feeding the ego. Most of the times, people who frustrating or dramatic often times are very much identified with their ego. Their sense of identity often lies in perhaps winning the argument at all costs, or showing people that they are right, or even putting you down so that they can feel more superior.

If you never give in and you kind of reply always reply in a way that’s sort of neutral (e.g. “I see,” “I understand,” “Yes”) you may confused the person, or even take them off guard with your peaceful reply. Whatever drama that happens will soon end because there’s no resistance. People who are frustrating or cause drama often times look to the other people reply in a way that will feed off of what they are saying, (e.g. “I don’t think you’re right…” “Not really…” “Are you sure about that…?”) These responses are just begging for more drama.

You have to be aware and ask yourself an important question in case you somehow happen to be in a dramatic argument, “Do I try to win this argument which can take more of my time and feel frustrated, or leave this argument as soon as possible and feel calm?” Some people will serious go through lengths of time (hours and hours) just to win and argument, but at the end, they don’t feel any much better. And although after a period of time, realize that they have just seriously hurt another person’s feelings, which backfires on them later on.

Condition Their Behavior in a Positive Way

Third, sometimes you will deal with people that are seriously important in your life. I hope you don’t ever have to have this happen to you, but most likely you will find yourself stuck in a situation where you have to deal with dramatic people all day long. This can be a demanding boss or a negative friend (one that you care for). What you do is you condition their behavior in a subtle way, but positive way.

If you have a boss who is mean, one way to change their behavior is to do things that show them the positive aspects of themselves. You have to emphasize it to make them focus on their rare positive traits though, or they will continue with their ways. For example, if your boss was somewhat encouraging to you, you might say, “Hey, thanks, that means a lot to me. I think it will help me do this task better” instead of “Thanks.” Doing this will let them be more are that they are changing someone’s day, rather than just being the role of a boss.

“If you’re dealing with a negative friend who’s always down, don’t make him or her focus on the bad things. Be observant. Compliment or praise them for whatever small things they are doing. For example, you friend may be writing and suddenly say something that’s kind of unique. You may say, “Hey, what you said there was pretty cool. Do you read often?” or “Hey, what you did there was pretty unique. I wish I had that ability. Can you teach me?” Drama is negative energy and usually comes from a negative attitude. By changing a person’s behavior to a positive one, you will often times get a positive person who is less inclined to creating drama.

The Straight Forward Response

Then there is the straightforward, no B.S. approach. You don’t give in to the drama, you just tell the person how you are feeling, what you’re true opinion is, and you get out. Sometimes people are so consumed in their drama that they don’t even know that they are! They are unconscious when this is happening because they are no longer talking; it is a voice inside that is talking for them, and the only way to get them is to snap them back into reality.

This is performed by using a direct straight forward response of how you really feel, perhaps showing them another side of you, a bold, confident, strong side that suddenly and completely takes them off guard, (e.g. “Hey, look.”) It’s just like sending an email that has one or two sentences of concise and effective points, instead of a long-winding passage of a person’s biography. The most effective ways to get to people are sometimes the simplest ways.

Avoid Drama from the Start

Finally, if you don’t want to be around dramatic people, the best solution is to just not be near them. If you have a crazy boss, get a new job. If you have an overloud roommate, live alone. If you have a dramatic ex girlfriend, get a new one (yay, for me ). The point is drama only happens when there are other people to talk about drama. Of course, we can experience drama ourselves individually, but that’s for another topic. Drama is like fire. It can only spread when there are inflammable things nearby. If you don’t start the fire, the fire will not be able to start itself. Similarly, stay away from drama in the first place, and you will be drama-free.

photo credit: (The Dream Seeker)

There are 5 things that if we can improve on everyday would result in two valuable aspects of our life. One of the results would be being more productive during the day. The other one would be having more inner peace within ourselves. The 5 things that improve productivity and inner peace are time, character, mentality, emotions, and health.

Most people either have one or the other in terms of productivity and inner peace. But imagine working at your job everyday having absolute clarity, being emotion-free, and getting more results done in less time. It will take some small changes, but small changes 1 day at a time can have monumental changes for a lifetime. I’ve outlined some of my ideas below.

Time

Managing time is always something that can be improved on. For example, what time of did you wake up today? Whatever the answer is, realize you can knock off 1 hour and 45 minutes to it by just waking up 15 minutes earlier per day. Let’s just say you usually wake up at 8:00 AM, but you started waking up 15 minutes earlier every day beginning from this Monday. So Monday – 7:45, Tuesday – 7:30, Wednesday – 7:15, Thursday – 7:00, Friday – 6:45, Saturday – 6:30, Sunday – 6:15. By next Monday, you would wake up at 6:15 AM, which is almost 2 hours extra just to begin your day with.

Another time management skill that could be improved on is tasks that can be done faster. For example, maybe you’re a freelancer and you get paid $10 per researched and written article. Let’s say you do an article in 1 hour and 30 minutes, so in 6 hours, you make $40. Try to see if you can reduce the time only by 15 minutes until you get to 45 minutes per article. So it would look like 1 article in 1 hour 30 minutes, 1 article in 1 hour 15 minutes, 1 article in 1 hour, and 1 article in 45 minutes. It takes 3 tries to do this, but the results are doubled. Instead of writing 4 articles in 6 hours, it would be possible to do 8 articles in 6 hours, if you can do 1 article in 45 minutes. The pay would then be $80 instead of $40 – double the amount of money in the same amount of time.

Character

Let’s go into character. Character has to do with being a good leader, whether this is being a leader of a group or being the leader of themselves. For example, go about life treating others with respect, the kind of respect you would like to have from other people. You may disagree with other people, but there’s no point in dealing with it in an angry way or telling other people that they are wrong in order to be right. Instead, learn to be open minded and settle differences by understanding another person’s point of view. This helps build character by being understanding and responsible for making the best out of the worst.

Another thing that helps build character is doing one thing to help a person out a day. It can complimenting somebody on the internet or doing something to help someone in real life. You’ll see that helping people has a contagious effect to it. For example, a few days ago, I was driving to Walmart. I came to a stop after I was exiting off a freeway. A few cars a head of me, I noticed a bum standing on the corner stoplight asking for money. Someone from the car rolled his window down and gave the bum some cash. It was green light and he drove off. When I started driving, I didn’t think the bum was expecting anything, but i rolled down the window and handed him $3. “Thank you sir, God Bless You” was the answer I got. The car which drove off will never know that I did this act, but his action had an effect on me. The funny part was when I got to Walmart, the cost of my supplies cost $42, and I had $41 in cash in my wallet. I had to use debit carb; and even thought it was irritating, when I think back on it, helping a homeless guy survive for 1 hour with $3 is more important than being irritated for 5 seconds.

Mentality

What can you do to improve your mentality. This is what goes on inside your brain such as your thoughts and your thinking process. A big portion of having a good mentality is having mental clarity. Hundreds of things go on our minds everyday, but if you can select one the things that matter the most and focus on them, you will be able to make life a lot simpler. Thinking doesn’t have to be complex or complicate unless you want it to be. Try to improve on thinking effectively, but simply, and you will get productive results.

Another advice on improving mentality is reading. Make it a habit to read everyday. It can be from a newspaper, it can be from a blog, or it can be from a book. As long as you’re reading something that’s going to help you out in some way, shape, or form, you will be investing in yourself through expanding knowledge. This lets you see things from another person’s perspective as well as makes you more worldly, letting you become more creative and giving you ideas for the future.

Emotions

Part of the biggest problems humans deal with is their emotions. I’ve written many articles on dealing with emotions on this blog, but if you haven’t read some of them, one thing that I would recommend you to do is spending some time everyday to sit down and go through a period of self-therapy. This will save you hundreds of dollars from seeing a real therapist.

For example, sometimes I worry a lot about the future. There’s always some type of “thing” that I’m afraid to do because I feel like I might  regret it later on. Facing it though is probably one of the best ways to overcome this negative emotion. This requires me to sit down somewhere quiet and ask “What’s the worst that can happen if I perform this action?” When the answer comes up, I will visualize it in my head. When you go through something enough times in your mind, eventually that negative emotion will won’t have that big of an impact on you. Then when the real thing happens, you won’t feel as much pain because you will have already gone through it many times. This makes us less emotionally invested in little things that bother us everyday.

Health

Finally, there is health. There are many ways to improve health but the main one I want to target here is exercise. Exercise helps combat chronic diseases by making sure you are getting enough blood circulation and oxygen throughout the body, it helps manage your weight by losing calories, it helps bring your mood up, it gives you more energy (haven’t you ever felt a burst of energy from doing high level physical activity – I know I have from playing basketball), it clears your mind, and finally, it gives you better sleep.

You don’t have to spend a lot of time everyday, if you woke up earlier like from the first example of waking up 1 hour and 45 minutes earlier, you would be able to get your jogging done, take a shower, and be ready for the day with energy and clarity. Also, you can always find small ways to do more exercise. I used to make the effort to purposely find the parking spot nearest to the shop that I would go to. Now it doesn’t bother me as much. I kind of purposely park farther now so i can walk to the store. It’s good on the legs.

In conclusion, try to improve on these 5 factors a day: time, character, mentality, emotions, and health. You will feel better, live life happier, and get things done. If you ever get stuck, you can always ask the question, “What can I improve upon tomorrow from what I learned today?” You will usually find an answer to that. Write it down and work on it. Improving something small each and every day adds up to a huge difference down the road, even if it’s just 1 new thing a day.

photo credit: Vince Alongi

There comes a point in our lives where we are not getting the results that we want, whether it is getting better grades in school, losing more weight, or making more money. We see other people succeed and it seems to stay that way. It seems like no matter what we do or what we try, we just can’t seem to get there. What’s the secret behind successful people?

It comes down to how hungry people are and how much they are willing to sacrifice in order to get something that they’re truly passionate about. If you have ever felt something that’s stopping you from achieving your goal, here are some questions you may consider asking yourself.

1. What’s at stake?

The first one is what’s at stake? In fact, in whatever goal you are trying to achieve, is there anything at stake at all? I used to be in playwriting class and one of the most important concepts our teacher taught us between a good play and a bad play was how high the stakes were. What was the stake of the character that we identified ourselves with? A play with low stakes didn’t add any sense of urgency to the character’s motives; thus causing the play to be bland and boring.

A play with high stakes, however, made the audience come alive and on the edge of their seats. Whether the character was going to lose someone special if they didn’t get what they wanted or perhaps their entire reputation of a character would be ruined at the blink of an eye, these were all contributing factors to a character with urgent needs to get what they wanted.

Is there anything at stake for you right now? Is there anything dramatic that will happen if you don’t get what you want?

This brings us to the next question…

2. Were you ever up against the wall at some point in your life?

Whether it is millionaires or billionaires, if you delve deeply into any person who has self made it to becoming financially free and to be able to influence thousands of people worldwide, you will find out that at one point in their lives, their backs were up against the wall. They had no choice but to succeed and it was just a matter of telling themselves, “No more of this life. I will do anything from this point on to succeed.”

Tony Robbins wasn’t always that enthusiastic person you see on TV. In his early life, he was extremely unhappy and thirty pounds overweight. His first job was a janitor, living in a 400 square-foot bachelor apartment and washing his dishes in the bathtub. It was during this time that he wanted to do more and be more. He went to becoming a world known speaker and peak motivator, even being worth as much as 400 million dollars in one day.

Oprah Winfrey lived in poverty during most of her childhood life. She had to wear clothes, sometimes made out of potato sacks and go through being made fun of by other kids at school. At an early age, she was molested and was raped at the age of 9. She ran away at the age of 13, became pregnant at the age of 14, and her baby died shortly after it was born. Her back was really up against the wall during these times, and she made a decision to be the best that she could be from that point forward. She went on to become a television host and producer, actress, author, at one point the world’s only black billionaire.

Sometimes, people have to hit rock bottom, before they have hit a reality that things need to change. Have you ever had your back up against the wall at sometime?

This brings us to the next question…

3. What are your feelings on competition?

Some people let competition stop them. Others let competition drive them. People get that same sense of urgency when they know there are other people who are working against them for the same spot. This is what makes them work harder.

We are in a competitive world right now and people need to realize that if we don’t want something bad enough, someone else will end up taking it away from us.

For example, if you ever read Donald Trumps’ and Robert Kiyosaki’s book, Why We Want You To Be Rich, there is a chapter in which Robert describes for a whole season, he did not get to play on his football team; he just sat on the benches frustrated. He wondered why since he was doing everything the other guy (Jesse) did, but the coach never put him in. One day the assistant coach came up to him and asked him:

“Do you know why the coach isn’t playing you?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t know. I do all the right things. I show up for practice. I run extra laps. I’m as good as Jesse.”

“Yes. That’s true,” said Mr. Clark. You also have more talent and speed than Jesse.”

“So why does he play?” I asked. “Why not play me?”

“Because Jesse has more heart. Jesse wants the position more than you. In life, talent is not enough. If you want a starting position you need to take yourself to whole new level. You have the body, but you lack the spirit” (Trump, Kiyosaki, McIver, Lechter 199).

Jesse had more heart than Robert; he wanted it more, and even if he less talent than Robert, he was the one that ended up starting.

The point is, if you go around the world believing that you are entitled to what you want, think again. Sometimes we feel too comfortable in our own skin and we become soft. The truth is, for every person that goes through the day not working, there are probably hundreds of other people working their butts off just to get that same spot, just like the spot Robert wanted.

These three things bring us to the next question…

4. How do you deal with fear?

From what’s at stake to competition, these are all things that instill fear in us. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. There are two people in the world: one that lets fear stop them from achieving what they want and one that lets fear drive them like no other.

Fear can paralyze people or it can be a catalyst to get people moving. Fear is one of the biggest emotions there are, and some people may argue that it can cause one to become more productive. Tony Robbins didn’t want to live life becoming a janitor, Oprah Winfrey didn’t want other people to live life with the scars she had faced, and Robert Kiyosaki did everything he could to put his heart into playing, which he ended up doing.

These people had deep reasons to why they wanted to succeed. They had things at stake. They had their backs walls up against the walls. And they let did not fear competition. Their why’s were bigger than the person next to them, the person who is complaining to their friends about why they never get what they want.

How do you deal with fear? Do you let it stop you, or do you let it drive you?

This brings us to the last question…

5. What is your why?

What is your why? If you don’t know, here’s an activity that you can do to push yourself and make you hungrier. Take a moment to sit down quietly and find out why it is you do what you do?

Think about all the reasons (there could be a hundred), and when you’re done, circle the reasons that really give you that deep sense of urgency to take action. It might be to be buy a new toy that you want or it might be something else; but you will know when you can identify this reason with something that really touches your heart.

Maybe you don’t have a strong enough “why” yet. If not, you might have to imagine something up even if it sounds silly. Our subconscious mind will believe what you make it to believe, so it doesn’t matter what your why is, as long as it motivates you whenever you think about it. When you are done doing this activity, start conditioning your mind that you will be able to achieve this goal because of special why you have. This will get you to take more action towards getting what you want.

In conclusion, you don’t have to be against the wall in order to achieve something, but you have to be hungry for what you want in life. People who went from bottom to top burned all bridges behind them. They didn’t do it because that wanted to. They did that had to; there was no other way.

photo credit: Dominic’s pics

In our fast-moving society, we want to be able to have quick-fixes. It seems like we’re either moving away from something or moving towards something all the time. When we are confronted with pain, we remind each other that the strong learn to “live with it” and move on.

Others, who are not strong enough, may resort to quick fixes such as taking medicine, consuming alcohol, or using drugs in order to find relief. You can see this from the millions of people who continue to ruin their health by smoking cigarettes to relieve pain. This is why cigarette companies have also made billions of dollars through victims of pain by giving smokers a chance for five minutes or so to “escape reality”.

Besides “learning to live with it,” getting help from peers, going through emotional tantrums, or resorting to medicines, alcohol, or drugs, there is another way to finding relief, but it is probably the most unpopular way to do so. This is usually because it’s the hardest thing to do at first, and that answer is to accept pain.

Have you ever heard that all pain is “self-created”? Think about this for a minute. Who is the self? The self is your mind and everything it identifies with including the memories you have had in the past and the thoughts you want in the future. Pain happens when we absorb ourselves in the past of the future and resist what is happening in the moment

Here are some examples:

• You ask a person out and they reject you then you start resenting them. You experience pain.
• You walk up to a person and they start yelling at you then you yell back. You experience pain.
• You remember a moment of how badly you were treated in high school. You experience pain.
• You realize that you cannot afford to pay an apartment bill on time. You experience pain.
• You do not like how you look at wish to no longer live. You experience pain.

Are all these thing self-created? Yes, because the self is the mind. Your mind is creating all these things in order to resist and try to escape what’s real. What is real? Your emotions can give you an indication of what is real and what isn’t. Whenever you feel pain, your mind is in a state that’s not real. Whenever you are at peace, everything becomes real.

Why do you think getting rejected by somebody else, getting yelled at by somebody else, getting treated badly by somebody else, not being able to pay an apartment bill on time, or not liking the way you look causes pain? It’s not really the situation, it’s what your mind makes of the situation and this causes you to feel all sorts of anxiety, frustration, anger, and depression.

But what is really going on here? Is it the situation that is the bigger issue or the negative emotion that is the bigger issue? Usually, the mind feeds off of negative emotions by creating more self-inflicting thoughts which create more negative emotions which create more self-inflicting thoughts and this becomes a dangerous cycle that really was not meant to be in the in the first place.

What if you could go through all of these things and be at absolutely peace with yourself, would they still be of an issue? Some of the necessary things we need in order to survive such as paying the bills would still be an issue, but this could be more rationally solved if you were at peace. If you’re overweight, going into frustrated complaining mode isn’t going to relieve the situation.

You would feel better if you accept the body you have right now and then find a solution to rational solution to lose weight. The example of somebody yelling at you would be better resolved if you did not yell back at you and moved on with your life as there would be no resistance and thus no argument. The first two problems involving memories of the past don’t exist; they only exist in the mind.

To find relief from pain, you have to realize that your mind is causing pain. It causes pain when you try to resist what is. What is is what is happening right now. Look around you right now. Look at the walls around you, look at your hands, look at the mirror, and as you are doing this don’t think of another thought.

For example, when I look around my room, I see a bookshelf filled with books, a wooden table on one side, a small mattress, and a tall lamp. These things are all real and the remind me of the moment that I am in. I’m not somewhere created in my mind, which is sometimes pleasurable to do, at the end of it, it just creates pain because I realize that’s somewhere I’m not when I come back to looking at the bookshelf filled with books, the wooden table on one side, the small mattress, and the tall lamp.

That’s what most people do though. They think of the future, they think of the past, but they don’t accept the moment they are in because the moment they are in can be painful already. Why would anybody want to experience pain? Experiencing pain leads to suffering, and suffering leads to something beyond the mind. This is called consciousness.

Consciousness is being aware of everything that is going on around you. You are not trying to fake reality by letting your mind interfere. When you’re conscious and your mind starts to interfere, you become aware that it is interfering. When your emotions are start to happen, you are aware that your emotions are start to happen. When you experience pain, you are aware that you are experiencing pain. What happens when you experience pain enough? Eventually, it goes away because you are it.

You are no longer pain, but you are pain. Pain, discomfort, and other negative emotions happen when there is an incongruity between avoiding what is and accepting what is. Think of it as if there were two puzzle pieces and trying to fit them together, except one of the puzzle pieces is upside down. This causes pain as the harder you try to fit them together, the more complicated it seems, and the more pain you receive.

When you become conscious of everything that is going on around you and you accept what is, you rise beyond the mind. You realize that no matter how hard you try to fit that upside down puzzle piece with the right side up one, it’s not going to work. You flip the upside down puzzle piece one, and suddenly everything seems to make more sense now. You may even laugh at how ridiculous the situation seemed beforehand. You feel relieved.

So next time, when you feel pain, instead of resorting to just “living with it” and moving on, going into an emotional tantrum, or resorting to medicine, alcohol, or cigarettes, accept the pain for what it is.

Take some time and sit quietly. But don’t think so much. Be conscious and aware of whatever pain that’s happening with you because it’s trying to teach you a lesson here. And although you may not find immediate relief because you will be experiencing pain in the beginning, you will find something a lot more special in the long run, and that is peace within yourself.

photo credit: dcfdelacruz

There are times where we go through the day without realizing the thoughts that are coming in our minds. Some of them are good, some of them cause us to procrastinate a lot, and some of them cause us pain. When we are not aware of these thoughts, they can turn into an obsession.

For example, you may experience a painful breakup and keep having obsessive thoughts over your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Or, you may see a foreclosure sign as you are passing through the neighborhood and you may have obsessive thoughts of not being able to pay your rent bills. As you are walking late at night in the dark, you may have obsessive thoughts of being attacked in the street. All of these things make life harder than it really has to be.

As human being, we don’t know it, but we are often controlled by our thoughts – whether good or bad. Specific thoughts or images that are constantly repeated can lead painful or leading to unpleasant emotional states. Being in a negative state doesn’t do anything to help the problem, it just worsens the situation.

In the late 1960s, behavior therapist Joseph Wolpe came up set ways to treat people with obsessive and phobic thoughts using a therapy called “thought stopping.” It is still used today as a way to cure one of obsessive and unwanted thoughts that can help one get through their day with little to none anxiety and worry. Let’s look at the steps to how we can stop our unwanted thoughts.

Step 1: List Unwanted Thoughts

The first step is to get a white piece of paper. Next, write down a list of general things that worry you and perhaps can cause an unhealthy obsession. These could be subtle habits that you have throughout the day or things that have happened to you in the past that you constantly think about and cannot stop. Some common things are:

• Worrying whether or not there are germs nearby your body….
• Worrying whether or not your loved ones are safe after midnight…
• Worrying whether or not you can get your ex back after a breakup…
• Worrying whether or not you will be able to pay your bills this month…
• Worrying whether or not turned off the stove this morning…

Once you have brainstormed some of the things that you generally worry about, the next step is to describe your thoughts specifically. Create “the scene” and create “the thought” that comes after. For example:

1. Feeling the presence of germs nearby… I might need to go wash my hands again…
2. Waiting an hour more for lover to arrive home… they might have been injured…
3. Thinking about what my ex is doing… they might be out with somebody else…
4. Seeing a huge rent bill in the mail… I might kicked out of apartment…
5. Driving away from house without checking stove… the house might burn down….

Step 2: List Pleasant Thoughts

After you have done step 1, you need to do the same thing now with “pleasant thoughts” because you’ll be using both for this process. Think of some things that have nothing to do with “unwanted thoughts” – things that you may enjoy. For example:

• Nature
• Vacation
• Awards
• Sports
• Love

Next create “the scene” and “the thought” that comes after it.

1. Fishing in a lake… what kind of fish will I catch today…
2. Laying down on the sandy beach… I wonder how much sand is there on this beach…
3. Receiving an award… who else before me has received this award…
4. Watching a sports game… I wonder who’s going to win the game…
5. Sitting next to a lover… I wish this can last forever…

Step 3: Go Through Your Thoughts

Now you have both done – great. Find a comfortable place to sit down. Put paper 1 (“unwanted thoughts list”) in front of you and put paper 2 (“pleasant thoughts list”) underneath it. Go through the list of “unwanted thoughts” and select one scenario. You might start with something that doesn’t give you as much anxiety, then work up to something bigger.

Since I’m not going to list all five, I’ve chosen the one that would give me the most anxiety – the thought of accidentally leaving the stove on every time I leave the house. I would sit down and play this scenario through.

I am driving on the freeway and I suddenly remember that I might have left the stove on. Suddenly, I think that there might be steam rising to the roof which could lead to a small fire. The alarm goes off and the neighbors call 911….

Step 4: Interruption

Once you feel like you are in a deep training of thought, it’s time to tell yourself to stop.

The alarm goes off and the neighbors call 911… The house seems to be burning… It is burning! I start to hear the sirens of police and firemen coming! The neighbors start crowding outside! People are running outside! I hear talking… I hear yelling… I hear screaming! I hear… “Stop!”

And that’s when you snap out of your thought. You yell, very loudly, “Stop!” As you are yelling, you can simultaneously clap your hands or snap your fingers for a more intense effect. Once you hear this signal, empty your mind. There’s nothing now – no more fire. Focus on nothing.

Step 5: Switch to Pleasant Thoughts

Good job on passing steps 1 through 4. Now, with what you just did, you would do the same exact thing with a “pleasant thought.” Take a deep breath. And envision yourself going through something that you love doing.

It’s a nice and sunny day outside. I can feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. I’m sailing on a boat in the middle of crystal clear, shallow lake. There are fish swimming all around me as I hold my fishing rod in one hand and take a sip of ice-cold water in the next hand. Suddenly, I feel tension… I have never caught a fish before and this one seems big…! I pull but it’s pulling too… and… and… and… “Stop!”

Break out of it. I know it’s hard to do but snap out of it. Empty your mind. There’s nothing now – no more fish. Focus on nothing.

Step 6: Repeat with Variation

So once you have done the simplest ones, try moving to the next one. Go back and forth from the easier ones to the more difficult scenes. Once you have succeeded with the “loud voice,” begin interrupting your thoughts using a “normal voice.” After succeeding with a “normal voice,” you can start using stop in a “whisper voice.” After you have done it through “whisper voice,” say stop “without making a sound.”Master this process all in your head without having to yell “Stop” out loud.

Step 7: Applying It to The Real World

When you have mastered this in your private state, it’s time to practice this out in the real world. This is why you have gone through steps 1 through 6 in order to get to a point where you can yell “stop” in your head and not have to yell out loud where it can be a disruption to other people.

Also, instead of clapping or snapping at random (as this may look embarrassing), you may want to prepare a rubber band to tie around your wrist. Snapping it will have the same effect. If you don’t like the idea of rubber bands, pinching yourself can also work. And basically, whenever you think of a thought that you don’t want, just yell “Stop” in your head while applying the “snap” or “pinch”. If you get good enough after practice, just saying it once should allow your mind to obey you.

Remember, stopping obsessive thoughts takes time. They will return and you will constantly have to stop them again and again. Don’t give up though; with time, they will return less and less often. Before you know it, they won’t bother you again. Additionally, you can also combine the stop method with breathing. Whenever you yell “Stop” take one breath and exhale. Keep breathing and count them a few times. Focus on your breath while you’re emptying your mind, and you should feel your anxiety pass you by.

Whether it’s a normal day where you randomly think about something that you know is meaningless, or it’s a certain day where you feel that a lot of anxiety is causing you function irrationally, thought stopping can help you save lots of time wasted on thoughts that result in negative emotional states. Just set aside ten to twenty minutes a day to go through visualizing and thought stopping process, and before you know it, you’ll have a skill that will be with you whenever you need to free yourself from unwanted thoughts.

photo credit: SOPHIA SCALPEL

I remember when I was younger, my dad and my mom would often get into long, loud arguments over financial problems. My dad was one of those people who kept quiet, like a ticking bomb waiting to go off, while my mom would constantly nag at him about how he was doing poorly at work. My dad would go off at her and they would argue so much, I felt embarrassed being in a household where it was so loud. One day we got a polite letters from our neighbors telling us to be quieter.

Because of my dad’s anger issues over my mom, I felt embarrassed because nothing could calm him down during the moment, even if you spoke up, it would just worsen the situation. With time, age, and years later, he has learned to calm down.

But if you’re a person who gets angry and wants to learn how to control the anger so you’re not hurting relationships with others, it doesn’t have to take years from now. Let’s try to understand anger a little bit more.

Causes of Anger

When somebody feels or perceives that there is a force which is threatening them, and they make a choice to stop this threat, anger starts to happen. Have you ever had a moment where somebody puts you down because they think their more superior than you? That makes us angry because indirectly that is a threat to our worth as a person and can causes us to want to retaliate in ways to stop this kind of threat.

Some Symptoms of Anger

• Heart rate goes up
• Blood pressure goes up
• Energy hormones rise
• Breathing rate increases

Effects of Symptoms (Expressed)

• Making louder noises
• Attempting to look physically larger
• Baring their teeth
• Staring at another person
• Tighten muscles
• Lashing out
• Breaking objects
• Yelling at others
• Verbal abusing others

Effects of Symptoms (Suppressed)

• Holding it in
• Putting others down
• Constantly criticizing others
• Finding a way to indirectly get back
• Feeling resentment throughout
• Giving somebody a silent treatment
• Feeling hopelessness and depression

How to Control Anger

One of the best methods to control anger during the moment is to be able to first realize that they are angry and the potential harm it can do to oneself, and to others. Anger, like any emotion, can be converted and redirected in a manner that makes sense and helps deal with a solution, rather than increase the problem.

For example, if you were to get in an argument with somebody, and they made you angry, you could do three things: continue arguing with them to try and prove that you’re way is right, let them be right and walk away from the situation, or try tell them you understand their point of view and express yours in a balanced and fair way so they understand too.

The first way will cause anger to heighten. The second way will not cause further anger, but will cause anger to stay inside oneself. The third way, if you conveyed right, will turn anger into relief when both parties can fully understand each other. But this takes a conscious effort of the people who happened to be in the anger situation.

If another person does not understand that, then the best thing to do is just walk away and let them win. Human beings are naturally righteously indignant; they have to be right in order to protect their ego. If you understand this, even when you know another person is not right, just let it go and walk away. The reason for this is anger happens when there is an opposing force. When there is no opposing force, anger cannot worsen.

How to Deal with Anger by Oneself

The first thing you should do is to stop analyzing the situation. Analyzing the situation when in a negative state will often either cause obsessing over thoughts which can further lead to a worse state. Many people want to find a new technique or new treatment for anger, but stick with the basics: finding how to calm down and relax.

Find a place where it is peaceful and calm. This could be somewhere in the park, your backyard, the library, or on the bed in your room. And instead of thinking about why you’re angry, or the problem, focus on your feelings instead. Focus on being conscious and aware of your surroundings, your physiology movements like your breathing, but mostly the moment you are in. Do this for twenty minutes and your anger will slowly cease and go away.

When it does, you be in a more peaceful and neutral state.  This causes you to feel better, and when you feel better, it is possible for you to start imagining visual scenarios that you would like to make the situation better. Also, you will be in a better state to logically tackle a problematic situation you that happen to be in.

How to Prevent Anger Entirely

The best way to deal with anger is to not let it happen at all. If you can do this, then you will never be angry. This may sound impossible to do, but it is very possible if you think about it. The reason that it is possible is because of our choices that we make.

We all have choices to the things that affect us in our daily life. You’ve probably heard of things such as action and reaction or cause and effect. It’s the same thing. When something outside of your control happens that causes the feelings of anger, you can let it happen, or you can make a choice to not get angry.

It may be hard at first because logically something such as a person calling you a bad name, or a car driver dents your car; these things are supposed to make you angry but they don’t have to. You can be a prey of anger if you are always trying to control a situation that can’t be controlled. If you do this, most likely you’ll be angry for the rest of the day, and maybe even the week; and if it does, it more likely result in other irritations throughout your daily habit.

Another solution is to try your best deal with a situation in a calm, but effective way also. In case of the bad name calling, don’t take it personally. Let it go as there is probably a reason that you don’t know about for why they treat people that way. As for the bad car driver, don’t get out and start yelling, but ask them for their driver’s information, report the situation, and deal with it in a manner that solves the solution.

Remember, anger is a choice. You can start to practice conditioning your mind to take it more easy and relax when something makes you angry. Maybe even laugh it off. But whatever the case may be, being angry is not worth affecting yourself, your relationships, and your daily life routine.

photo credit: Run With Scissors

Depression is at least one of the top five diseases that happen in the world today. I think one of the biggest reasons people have unhappy days is because of so much corruption, exploitation, and fear in the world, that they have stopped desiring to be happy. They fear it.

For example, my dad reads the newspaper everyday so many of the times, I was influenced by the news. Every time he passed me the newspaper, there was always something depressing that happened. People stole things from others, people getting killed, war breaking out, schools shutting down, and people getting kicked out of their homes. When my mind saw this, there was absolutely no way to be happy for the remainder of the day. Why?

Well, to be blunt, I felt guilty.

I felt that if any day or time I felt too happy, karma would come back and hit me. It was wrong to be too happy because I would eventually sink back down so it would be safer to stay slightly depressed. Now when I think back during those times, I shake my head as it was my choice to think like that, and that is why I had those unhappy days!

I think a lot of people go through this state also. Maybe you’re in line to by coffee or you’re at work waiting for the fax machine and somebody compliments you, you may have a common instinct that dismisses them for being polite. This happens to us often, but it really roots down to how we feel about ourselves. And if we always dismiss other people for complimenting us, how in the world are we supposed to have a happy day? Next time, accept the compliment and instead smile, say thank you, and let it in.

Here are some examples how you can look at your day.

• Today sucks. / Today rocks!
• Nobody likes me. / I love everybody!
• I never get the breaks. / Breaks come to me all the time!
• He/she can but I can’t. / I will learn from others who can!
• Business is bad. / I will find a way to make my business better!
• Everything is going to go wrong. / Everything in my life has potential to go right!
• Everyone is against me. / People don’t understand me but I love myself!
• Time needs to go by faster. / I love the present moment!
• I am not going to succeed. / I will succeed!
• I can’t do it / I can do it!

Even if all else fails, you can at least look at the things you have right now. It may not be much, but if you have the ability to reach this on a computer and have internet access, you have more than a lot of the world. Be grateful that you have a roof over your head right now and have accessible food near you. Even though it might not be delicious, it still can keep you from starving.

When we focus on what we don’t have, it is natural that we will feel unhappy. When we are unhappy, we struggle to become happy. This becomes a trap we fall into or a cycle. When we focus on what we do have, even if it’s a little bit, we go into a positive state. It is above the neutral scale. This makes it easier to be happy and attract more happiness.

You can kind think picture a black line in front of you. It represents neutrality. Even if you are rich, but still obsess about chasing something nicer, you will be under the line and it will make you unhappy, as that’s where your thoughts are placed. If you are poor, but you are glad for what you have, you will be slightly above the line, but at least you’ll be happy.

It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, black or white, young or old, or sexy or not sexy at all (me), happiness is a state of our mind. Whatever is happening to you on the outside, you have freedom to choose what is going on in the inside. As simple as it is, people think happiness has to be something complicated. They think it can’t be this easy to achieve happiness, and because they are thinking like this, they are getting what they have stated for themselves.

One final tip is that you can always start your day out happy. You can create a mantra and say it to yourself as you wake up:

Today is going to be a new and wonderful day for me. I love today and there will not be another day like this one. Whatever I do I will prosper. Even if my attention starts to go away from that which is good and positive, I will bring it back to a good and lovely state. My soul is attracting to myself all the things that bless and prosper me. I am going to do wonderful things today. I am definitely going to be happy all day because I love living!

Okay, so I know that sounds a little bit cheesy, but it works if you believe it does. Most people start their day and begin it with an attitude that automatically is destined to go in a downwards spiral. They may have the house, the car, the designer clothes, and the jewelry, but still be unhappy. It really comes down to one’s attitude. It doesn’t matter who you are of what you have, you have a choice! Make it a good one and you’ll find yourself to have more happy days.

photo credit: BL1961

As human beings, we want to make life as comfortable as we possibly can. If anything, we try to strive to live each day with the feeling of peace and awareness. We want to know the things that go on around us, we want to know what’s going on in the present moment, and we want to know that the actions we take today will result in a certain action tomorrow. But what happens when things don’t go as planned. Suddenly, we panic.

One of the feelings most people want to avoid is discomfort. Nobody likes to have that uneasy or uncomfortable feeling. It feels like sharp pain in our bodies. The weird thing is, the more we try to neglect it, the stronger it gets. If you’ve ever had this feeling, you know what I mean. Here are some ways to deal with discomfort.

What is discomfort?

First of all, what is discomfort? The best way for me to describe discomfort is a feeling between anxiety and irritability. It’s a sharp stingy feeling that eats you up from inside and you can physically feel it anywhere in the body. Not only does discomfort distances you from being anywhere near peace and relaxation, but operating your day at a steady rate can really take its toll when you constantly feel this way. Depending on the type of person you are, you may feel discomfort from internal or external forces. Here are some real like situations that might cause discomfort.

• Giving a speech to a crowd of people staring
• Going to a party where you only know a few people
• Starting a conversation with a stranger in the street
• Staying in a different environment such as another house or country
• Being forced to eat new foods that you’re not familiar with
• Coming home to see your workplace organized in a different way
• Something abnormal that happens near us
• Someone following or creeping next to us
• Doing something you’re not supposed to do
• Not knowing the outcome of an action you took

Why we get these feelings?

The reason I think why we get feeling of discomfort is because of control. As human beings we want to be in control of everything. Part of being in control is the need to know what is going on around us and why it is going on. However, what that is taken away from us? What if all of the sudden something we cannot control or something happens to us but we do not understand why it happens? For a brief moment, we are taken out of our reality. This causes discomfort.

How to get rid of discomfort?

The key to getting rid of discomfort, I believe, is indifference. There is a saying that indifference is the key to making a difference. The reason for this is because we invest too much of our feelings into the unknown. If we can reduce the amount of feelings we put into this, we can slowly get rid of our discomfort.

Example #1

For example, let’s you were at the computer and accidently pressed submit to before you really wanted to. You wrote a mistake, perhaps this was a spelling or grammatical error that you wanted to change. Perhaps you wrote something that just made a fool out of yourself. Either way, the thoughts that are going through your mind are what an idiot you were and how other people are going to look at you differently now. To heal this, you start coming up with mind chatter that more than likely is useless.

“Why did I hit submit!?”

“I’m such a klutz!”

“Maybe nobody will read it…”

“Should I write something else beneath it?”

“Oh I wish I didn’t do that…”

“Where is the redo submit button when I need it!”

This is the wrong approach as this will only produce more discomfort. To cure this you have to be indifferent about it. But it’s no use to just tell you to be indifferent. That starts with acceptance. Accept that you have hit the submit button. Next visualize or go into a reality that you’ve done it so many times that it’s no big deal. This helps being indifferent as well. For example, see yourself having already hundreds of thousands of times. Momentarily picture it in your head. Now feel the feeling slowly vanish away. Feel better?

Example #2

Another example of discomfort might be meeting your old friends for the first time in a long time. The problem is that you know you have changed as a person but they do not know that. The day is coming closer and you feel an internal pain in your body. You start to ask yourself the following questions.

How will I act in front of them?

Should I act the way I use to or the new me?

What will they think of my new personality?

Maybe I should just act like my old self…

Is there any way I can delay this meeting?

C’mon let’s just get it over with!

Again, more of this only causes more discomfort. The reason for this is because you have stayed at home for many days without seeing your old friends and finally the perfect day arrives wherever everybody is in town and everybody has free time. Now instead of another day where you go doing yourself alone, you will have to see people.

You are thinking too much. You are putting too much importance and making it a bigger deal than it really is. You would not feel discomfort if you saw new people every day would it? The only reason you feel discomfort is because there is a sudden change in lifestyle. By visualizing in your mind over and over again that you have already met your friends and this is the hundredth time you are doing it, you will reduce the importance of it.

Remember, sometimes rational thinking only worsens our discomfort level because you’re trying to pull away from the truth. If you’ve made a mistake, the truth is you’ve made a mistake. We don’t necessarily have to bring up other alternatives because we want to feel at control. We cannot control the universe. Everything in the world happens for a reason, but we don’t have to necessarily know that reason. Sometimes human beings will need to know that reason and will not feel comfortable until they find that reason out. This causes great discomfort and eventually drives them mad.

Learn to deal with discomfort by not letting the situation become too big of a deal. Don’t sweat the small things in life. Learn to accept and visually repeat things in your mind and feel it many times to reduce the importance of it, and you’ll find yourself to be more at peace with life.

photo credit: Foxtongue

Sometimes there are moments in our lives where we experience something so frightening that we are at a complete loss of words. We feel like we have lost all control of our senses, feelings, and thoughts during the moment. And because there are so many different aspects of fear, it makes it hard topic to tackle.

How can one compare being scared of a real object such as a spider to a something that’s not even in our world such as a ghost? How can one person fear success while another person fear something as friendly as water? I’ve been scared of many things in my life, but I’ve learned to understand it over the years. Fear cannot be entirely removed, but there are ways to a lot more tolerable.

What is fear?

To understand how to cope with fear, we need to understand what it is first. Fear is an emotional response. That’s all it is. When we feel like potential danger may happen, our brain sends signals down to our body and makes us feel a certain way. We label this feeling as fear.

Anything we have experienced that put us in threat or in danger causes us to fear similar things in the future. A person who has almost drowned in water when they were young will be afraid to go near swimming pools later. Likewise, anything we think of in the future that puts us in danger causes us to feel the effects of it in the present moment. A person who thinks they will do horrible at a job interview will start panicking before they even begin writing their resume.

Fear is part of human nature. For early human beings, fear was absolutely necessary trait for survival. It was an emotion that warned them that now was the time to escape or avoid a dangerous situation. Through human evolution, we may have changed physically, but our innate emotion of fear has always been the same and has always remained with us.

Symptoms of Fear

• Shortness of breath
• Increased heart rate
• Trembling
• Shaking
• Sweating
• Numbness
• Wanting to faint
• Hot or cold flashes
• Feeling detached from the body
• Feelings of unreality

A List of Common Human Fears

• Spiders
• Snakes
• Bees
• Heights
• Water
• Enclosed spaces
• Tunnels
• Bridges
• Heights
• Clowns
• Ghosts
• Darkness
• Commitment
• Confrontation
• Social rejection
• Public speaking
• People
• Failure
• Success
• Driving
• Criminal or gang violence
• Terrorist attacks
• War
• Being alone
• Death

Besides water and driving, I am afraid to admit that to a certain degree, I am afraid of all these things listed above. There’s no need to be embarrassed as I know I’m just like everybody else in the world. There are probably thousands of other things that cause fear. Again you cannot remove fear completely, but you can to do your best limit fear to a small degree and be under control. Here are some ways to help you out.

Accept the Fear

To conquer fear, the first thing we need to do is not run away from it. The reason for this is because if you keep running away from it, you will always be afraid. Accept that whenever you experience something unknown, you will experience a degree of fear. It’s natural; it’s part of the human body. When fear happens to you, face it. That’s part of accepting it. Face the thoughts that you going through and experience it. If you can handle your imagination, you can handle the real thing.

Rationalize the Fear

By rationalizing the fear, ask yourself why you are feeling the way you are? What is it that is causing your fear? Instead of panicking or losing total control of your rationality, ask yourself if there is anything you can do in the moment to lessen the fear. If you’re afraid of heights, don’t look down to make it worse. If you’re scared of darkness, keep a small light next to you. If you’re scared of a job interview, prepare for it like you’ve never prepared before. Ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can happen to you if end up facing it?

Dismiss the Fear

Dismissing the fear means exactly what it says. Accept that you have those fears and if you don’t like those feelings, simply dismiss them. You don’t have to be obligated to feel scared or afraid. You don’t have to live life under some force you cannot even control. You have choices and you can choose to think or feel about something else. Think of fear as a TV channel. Some people enjoy the thrill of a horror movie, but if that’s not your thing, feel free to change the channel.

Change the channel to action and feel more excited. Change the channel to romance and feel more love. Change the channel to comedy and have a good laugh. It may be hard to suddenly change your thoughts and feelings to something else when you’re already freaked out, but I can tell you that if you continue to focus your thoughts on what you fear, you will continue to be freaked out. So if you don’t want to feel this way, change your thoughts to something more pleasant.

Overcome the Fear

If you’ve gone through the first three steps. The last thing you need to know is that fear is just an emotion. You can overcome it with positive reminders to yourself. Never let something that is in the past come back to haunt you. It’s history. Never let something that hasn’t happened in the future hurt you. It’s not real. Focus on what you can do control during the moment and that is your thoughts.

So the next time fear comes, don’t ask yourself what you can do to run away from it. Ask yourself what you can do to deal with it. None of the twenty-five things I listed above is fear. None of the one thousand other things I didn’t mention is fear either. The truth is there is nothing to really fear except, what Franklin Roosevelt once said, fear itself.

photo credit: markhillary

For the past couple of months, every Sunday, my uncle, aunt, nephews, and I will go hiking together. These are the people in the family, including me, who don’t mind waking up at 8 o’clock in the morning on a Sunday morning just to drive a half an hour to walk an hour on a hiking trail.

Usually, on weekdays I wake up at about 7 o’clock. So besides Saturdays, I don’t get that many days to sleep in. That’s why on Sundays I sometimes groan when I have to wake up early, but I pull myself together and go anyway. The thing is once my feet hit the ground, I feel energized. With the first starting steps, I know my feet can carry me for the next thousand or so steps.

What I like most about hiking is spending some time away from the city life, or the busy life where it is always seems like people are running around trying to get somewhere and stressed out. When you are away from the city life, away from the noisy cars driving back and forth sometimes honking at one another, away from the fast footsteps of high heels and business shoes, the nonstop chattering of people, sometimes even yelling at one another, when you’re away from this and in an area where your more with nature, you just feel at peace, yet revitalized at the same time.

Depending on where you’re hiking, your vision will be a lot different from what you see in the city. For me, it’s usually lots of green trees, rocky steps sometimes covered with green moss, blue skies with clouds floating, and sunrays passing through the leaves of the trees lighting the pathway in front or nearby. Alhough the view may be beautiful, the hike itself sometimes isn’t a walk in the park, but can get rather tiring fast.

For example, usually you start below at some part and as you move forward, you ascend until you reach the top of the trail which is the goal, and then you ascend back down. The trail sometimes can be hard, literally filled with hundreds of human made wooden or rock staircases going upwards before you reach the top. Sometimes the trail is windy, and you have to weave in and out of what seems like a jungle. Sometimes the trail is steep, so you have to use the ropes next to you and a lot of leg muscle to keep going up or down. And sometimes you can never see more than ten feet away from you, so you have no idea where you are going (if it’s your first time) and you just have to have faith that you’ll reach the end with every step you take.

Even though physically, it may seem exhausting, it really never feels like it because your thoughts are always wandering as you’re walking. That’s the most important thing I like about hiking is that it brings peace in my body and thoughts drift freely and gently, exploring new thoughts that enlighten me or put me in a good mood.

I’m a strong believer that your thoughts operate the best when your body is completely at peace. When your body is at peace, there is clarity in the mind. Since you’re constantly moving, blood flow is going throughout the body, making it easier to think, especially in a vibrant colored area where it feels quiet, calm, and peaceful.

Sometimes you’ll think of memories of the past, good or bad, but it’s rather easy to shift negative thoughts into positive thoughts in a nature-like environment. Sometimes, with the passing of so many thoughts, you’ll think of one that just give you a light bulb moment which you can remember and implement later at home. Sometimes, you’ll just recall all the happy moments you had when you were young and it will just make you chuckle and realize how silly life can be.

And sometimes in the midst of your thoughts, you’ll be hear a “hello” from a person passing by, in which you say “hello” or “good morning” back and it never feels as awkward as it would be in the city if you were passing somebody on the street.

Hiking itself isn’t really about the path, it’s more about spending time away from the pressure and stress of society and becoming more in tuned with yourself as a person and as with nature too. And you don’t have to go hiking at a nearby mountain in order to do this. Walking in a park, bicycling outside of the city, or any outdoor activity can accomplish this. But I find the closer you are in a nature-like environment, there easier it is to just let go of yourself.

The famous French painter, Claude Monet once said, “The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration.” Whether it is hiking in nature, or anything else similar, sometimes the simplicity of nature does give us that inspiration we need in order for us to move casually and peacefully through our daily lives.

Alan Tom