Most people in the world think success is about getting something. Maybe this something is losing more weight to look good in front of others. Maybe this something is making more money to be able to buy anything in the world. Maybe this something is working at the top floor of a skyscraper looking out into the city. And until that point happens, they consider themselves either a failure or not successful.
In my opinion, success if often only an illusion that comes from many fake, smiling advertisements that show that if you have this, then you’ll be successful. It has never been farther from the truth.
To me, success has always been about mastering the process towards the result, rather than achieving the result from the process itself.
Do you think people who want to become professional athletes want to become successful because of the millions of dollars they can make? The people who have answered yes are correct, but they will never make multimillion dollars. Most successful athletes are not worrying about the result of money; they are successful because are working on mastering their skill, which is a never ending process.
You can see it from the faces of indifferent NBA players that they don’t care anymore. They have been drafted in the NBA and they most likely at least make 6 figures a year even if they’re not playing. But this attitude is the difference between playing on the court or sitting on the bench, and they are the ones sitting on the bench.
The day we stop growing, is the day we stop becoming successful. This is why I don’t always necessary agree with the “-est” suffix.
- Best
- Smartest
- Fastest
- Wisest
- Coolest
These words are illusions of success because people think, “Wow, if I can be the smartest or wisest person on earth, I’ll be a success!” So they go on pursuing a dream that just doesn’t exist. If you think you have all the knowledge in the world, sorry to say but there’s still more to know. If you’re Usaine Bolt and you’re the fastest person on earth, you can be faster. If you think you’re the coolest person in your class, the bad news is that there’s someone across the street that’s probably cooler (sorry to burst your bubble).
Ultimate success is not a result of something, and if we continue to think this way, it’s just going to limit the possibilities of what we can really do as individuals.
If you can master how to make any jump shot with 70% accuracy, you won’t have to worry about money. Larry Bird and other scouts will put you on a team. If you master how to write like Steven King or J.K. Rowling, publishers will fight with each other to get your work out there. If you have master how to win a debate, you won’t have to worry about losing another argument with your spouse again – just kidding.
The point is, it isn’t about being the best. It’s about handling the worst.
Michael Jordan didn’t say, “I’ve made more than 30,000 points in my career. I’ve been MVP 4 times in my life. 6 times, I have achieved the NBA championships, all with the same team. I’ve won over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Although he has achieved all this, he rather focuses on telling the world what the process really looks like when getting there. And it’s not always pretty as he tells the world:
I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 hundred games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
To get something, you need to focus on the process. Success is more about mastering your process of getting to that something rather than that something in your hands.
You most likely will find the process to a certain result you want frustrating, you may get rejected again and again and again, you may be in financial pressure, or in general, you may find the process mentally and physically difficult.
But it is how you handle the process that will separate you from the crowd. Because as everybody else is obsessing over the results they can have, you are worrying about what you can do a little bit better in the moment.
Success is like a flowing stream. Never stop practicing, never stop learning, never stop growing, and never stop giving back to the world. Do this, and you’ll start to see the illusion of success fade away, as you will already be a success yourself.
photo credit: C.P.Storm
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Tristan, I really like how you conclude this article with the last paragraph especially the part about never stopping to give back to the world. It really is the only way to feel fulfilled.
Great article Tristan… Really enjoying your blog.
As long as we’re alive, we’ll always want more.. The beauty in life is being able to awaken to the fact that while we can always grow and develop more that we already have and are so much.
It seems the more I am in the moment, and content with what I have, the more money I make, the better freelance clients I get, and the easier it all flows.
The less need I have for more, the more I seem to get.
For me, there is no point in working to achieve more, or be more unless I am already fully accepting and appreciative of what I already have and what I’ve already achieved. If I don’t appreciate what I already have, how can I appreciate more?
Hey Tristan,
this is a beautiful post you’ve done here, especially the last line.
And you are right, for too long the society has been putting the illusion that getting what we want at the end is success, but like you said, it is rather the process.
For me personally, it goes to a similar level. For me, success is about getting out of the tough times from our lives, it from our resilience and strength and courage to pull ourselves together and stare life right at its face and say “This is my life and I’m doing whatever I want”.
Great post and a great reminder Tristan, keep writing posts like this!
Steven
PS: nice touch on the site design, looks awesome!
Loved this post!
Success is such a subjective thing. One small thing can be a big success to one, and an everyday occurrence to another.
Cheers,
Dayne
I like your definition of success Tristan, cause it’s more about the inside than the outside. If you have an expensive car, you can always crash it. But if you have the skills to make money to buy a stream of expensive cars, then you have potential. And that to me is exciting. Besides, who the hell buys expensive cars anymore?
Eduard
Tristan, you make great points. Success is a buzzword that gets thrown around so often that it has nearly ceased to be a word–it’s more of a sound that generates images of dollar signs in our brains. Or houses. Or cars.
There’s no price you can put on peace of mind. Be content, but never satisfied. Keep it fun, stay curious, and you’ll never have to wonder if you’re a success.
I always enjoy your blog when I swing through. Take care friend.
Hey Belinda. Thank you. You’re right it definitely makes you feel more fulfilled.
Hi Elliot. Thanks man, I’m happy you enjoy reading it. Like you say, the more you’re in the moment, the less you have to worry about getting a certain outcome, and more easy things just flow. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as well as your insight on appreciation.
Hey Steven. I like your saying on staring life straight in the face and telling it that you’re the one in control. Thank you.
Hey Dayne, thanks! Yes, success is definitely subjective and means different things to different people.
Hi Eduard. There you go! That as my point. Success isn’t about that expensive car, but the skills you obtain to be able to buy that expensive car.
Hey Josh. Haha, I like your analogy of what the word success means to our society these days. Like you say, keep it fun and stay curious. Thanks for stopping by!
Hey Tristan, I really enjoyed this article, and I totally buy your point of view. Stumbled!
Thanks Oscar. I’m glad you enjoyed the article.
I’ve always loved that MJ quote. So True! I just said on another blog that some people put the goal posts so far away that they have no chance of success. Unless you look for the success you already have now, people always continue to feed the habit of the illusion you talked of.
Great post!
Thanks Amit. You’re also right. People don’t realize that to build the The Great Wall of China, you don’t start with entire thing. You start by placing one brick as neatly as you possibly can right in front of you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hi Tristan, this is such an excellent post. Everything that ends in ‘est’ is, in one way or another, limiting. Perfection, too, is limiting, because there is no more room for growth. The spirit of growing, the process and the journey, that is what success is… People focus so much on the end result that they miss the rewards that lie in the journey itself. For example, take getting a college degree. So many are so focused on the “getting” of the degree (which is handed over in one short ceremony) that they miss out on the process, the enjoyment and the unfolding, the self-discovery that can accompany college — which can actually happen whether you ever “finish” and get that degree or not. You’ve outlined this wonderfully here, and the Michael Jordan example is particularly “on point”, too!
Thanks for sharing these insights with us.
You’re welcome Miche. I agree with your definition of success and I also like that college analogy you provided. People worry way too much about the title of degree that they forget the live the entire experience of college. Thank you for that.
Great article Tristan. Success is a state of mind. So does happiness. If only we all want less, the world would be a better place.
You’re right, success and happiness are both just the state of the mind which can be accessed to at anytime. Thanks Karlil.
Hey Tristan!!
Totally cool post!
The definition of success I have is ‘Reaching the goals you set for yourself”.
Success is not a million dollars or CEO of a massive company. Success can be ‘having seen every country in the world’ or ‘being independent and working on your own terms’.
I like your blog! Looks very neat and clean
Cheers!
Diggy
Haha, thanks Diggy. Your way of seeing success is more towards doing rather than having. I like that.
Hi Tristan!
Thank you for this post. Very inspiring.
Every day we are on this planet is a success already. Surviving another day, learning new things, helping others – adds additional levels to our success. We should appreciate more where we are, set clear goals as to where we want to be and measure our success individually and independently of what the “common sense” and other people tell us.
Alex
Hey Alex. I agree with you that learning new things and helping others is a way of viewing success. Success isn’t always measured by a certain day that comes, but can be measured as everyday process. Thank you for your reply!
Great article! Many people forget that success is a journey and not a destination, the journey being the process. Realizing that success and happiness are a journey brings peace into one’s life.
Hey Quam. The way you put it was spot on. Success and happiness is a journey as well as a process. I agree that realizing this can bring more peace into one’s life. Thank you.
Tristan, I thought I’d give your post a read and I loved it. Success as a process is largely ignored in favour of success an an outcome/result. You have reminded me to frame the process of ongoing development as success and also made me realise (personally) – why the heck do I need to punish myself so much if I get certain things wrong! Be like Michael Jordan, adjust and take the shot again! THAT is a realistic way of approaching life.
Thanks
Doug
Hi Douglass. I loved how you put it in those words, that success is more favorable when it comes to outcome and result. Thanks for this, and yes, don’t punish yourself for getting things wrong! Just take the shot again, and keep going!
Hey Tristan,
Success = your happiness, not what someone else says it should be.
If you love making music, and you create new tunes every day, then you’ve already “made it.” You don’t need awards or industry accolades to be successful. Topping the charts is something that the media and the industry pushes on you, but if it’s not a fit for you, then it won’t be a success for you either – you’ll unlikely be happy doing everything required to get to that position (touring, interviews, etc.).
Of course, if you DO love that kind of competition and enjoy winning awards, then that becomes your success. But it’s a success because it makes YOU happy, not because someone else said it should be that way.
Success by itself is an empty word – you need to fill it with what makes you happy. Do you desire to climb to the top of Mt. Everest, or do you simply enjoy getting out and rock climbing every weekend? Both can be a success – it just depends on which type of person you are.
Nice one pointing out the illusion of success. It’s not something inherent or what the media says but what we make it for ourselves,
Oleg
Hey Oleg. I totally agree with you that success always about receiving a reward or topping the charts. It can be about what makes you happy and what fills you with meaning. Both of these are forms of success as well. Thank you for your detailed reply.